I wondered where it came from
The questions
The disturbance
The anxiety
The self doubts
It made me into a touch-me-not
Gradually, resigning into a shell
Getting silent
Avoiding calls
Yet, there was something hopeful
A little fire inside
A little life force
A little positive whisper
I learnt to calm myself down
The world would punch me
I would calm myself down
The world would berate me
I would write down in a journal and
Calm myself down
The world would spin stories
I would read books by people who suffered the same and
Calm myself down
The world would show entitlement
I would talk to people who have gone through the ridiculousness and
Calm myself down
I would learn to meditate and gradually understand
The people are bitter
Someone’s spouse did not treat them well
The people are jealous
Their mothers never saw the good in them, always compared them to someone else
They were jealous of what was not in them, a personality
Some were angry
Their own father did not invest in them
These bitter, angry, jealous people would love the drama
Keep me engaged in their dirty games
I learnt their games
stopped playing them
Peace came, then love
Slowly came play , meaning and
Lastly came the understanding
I am the sunflower
I will look towards what is bright
And beautiful
Always open to an invite to a wonderful dance
And laughter
While keeping an eye on the bitter ones
Tiring them
Redirecting their anger
And wishing them one day to
Become a sunflower
